It was a dark night, I was coming
back from my office suddenly saw someone asking for a lift.It was
Radhika, Rahul’s wife. She couldn’t recognize me. I was amazed to
see her and dint even think for a second to help her. I thought this
was the chance to know about Rahul that how is he.Whether she is able
to keep him happy. Whether he talks about me ever with her. How much
she hates me. Has he completely forgotten me.. Questions were racing
in my mind but asking her would be abrupt. But I couldn’t control
and started asking. Hey are u married. She said yes. I disguised my
inquisitiveness to know about him into general questions and asked
are u happy, how is your husband? Is he happy? Does he keep you happy…
through this 1 hour of drive, she thought we became good friends and
she can ask me for a cup of coffee at her place and asking me to meet
her husband. But once for a while I thought of throwing her from the
car into the Pond besides the road. Ohh that was my Devil's mind which keeps on disturbing me... But yes I cannot do this because
this lady was now his everything. His wife, His Love, Mother of his
future kids and ME?? Hahahah a joke. I WAS NOTHING and may existence
may be did not matter to him even. And her destination arrived and
she asked me for coffee at her place as I thought. I was like yeah I
want to rush into your house and was desperately waiting for the sight
when I will encounter him. But at the same time I was scared. My
heart never beat faster than that time. I said no to her once as I
had to because of courtesy but I was praying inside please force to me to
come once again and God listened and she forced me to come inside
once again. I obviously couldn’t say no as its been the whole year
I was waiting and craving to even listen to him once and I was being
gifted with the jackpot to see him. I dint know whether to thank God
for this or not as I have been cursing god for not giving me the
happiness which I deserved. The last one year was worse than the
hell anyone can get. And this was like the compensation God was
giving me for all the torture which I have faced. I was entering her
home and his sister opened the door. She recognized me and I was
scared that she will tell Radhika that I am Monika. I prayed again
that please don’t reveal it. God listen again. She smiled at me and
greeted me and welcomed me. When I enter , the drawing room was
filled with Rahul’s friends and they all saw me and were delighted.
Radhika went inside to make coffee for me. All of them obviously
recognized me and greeted me delightfully. I was not able to hear
anything as my eyes were hunting for his sight, It was like my eyes
were made to see him and my ears were to listen to him only. And yes
I saw him, my heart started racing. I never thought whether I will be
able to see him ever again in my life. But yes I was seeing him. I
was choked and so did he. We couldn’t speak a word with each other
but inside I was hugging him and crying. I wanted to ask HOW ARE YOU
Rahul? HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? ARE YOU HAPPY? DO YOU MISS ME? DO YOU SEE MY
FACEBOOK AS I DO? DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT ME ANY DAY BECAUSE YOU ARE
IN MY MIND 24*7. But yes I couldn’t ask as in front of Radhika I was
a stranger. His friends understood and tried to make a plan so that I
cud get some time to spend with him so that we can talk. Somewhere
even Rahul wanted to talk to me, I could sense that and it was like
he was waiting for Radhika’s permission to talk to me. At last his
frnds were successful and they made a fake plan of dropping me to my
home and taking Rahul along, I agreed immediately as I wanted that.
Rahul was hesitating as he should , he was a married man now, Her
sister also dint object though she knew our past. It was like God has
told everyone to shut their minds and everything was falling into
place. I was like I will be able to talk to him and ask him. We went
out, his friends left me and him alone in the car. Nobody was there
but a distance, a distance of one year, a distance of he being
married now. AND YES WE COULDN’T SPEAK ANYTHING. WE COULD NT BREAK
THE ICE. Actually I dint want to. I dint want him to be unhappy by
telling him that how sad I am after he went away from my life. I dint
want him to know that the Monika she loved is no longer that girl
any more. I dint want him to know how vulnerable I have become. But
alas! I couldnt utter a word. All I could do is a dropped a tear and
said BYE Rahul!! TAKE CARE and I went away…. He said nothing,, Not
eve ALRIGHT!! I couldnt hear him.. I wanted him to call my name once..
I wanted him to say Monika once… but he dint!!! I walked away and
wished never to see him again… I was walking away with a smile
but!! A smile of contentment that he is happy in his life. I am in
the habit of being sad since a year and this has become my life
now!!! I am in love with sorrows now!! Sorrows have been my destiny
now and dis moment which I lived though it was a dream but gave me a
reason to smile.
No comments:
Post a Comment